A Beautiful Woman

I was feeling the cold of her frail fingers in my hand.
She was there with her eyes, closed lying on the carpet on the floor.
A dim yellow flame in an earthen lamp was visible through the wetness in my eyes. The flame was not strong enough to put the heat again in her. She was a beauty whom I loved since my childhood. We both loved each other. But during all those years, I never got any tangible gift from her, which can remind me of her, but yes, she did all those showering of affection in all different ways.Through her unique indigenous delicacies in pickles, her special dishes for me whenever I visited her, through her hugs, stories, lessons of morality. She used to enjoy when I carried her light body my arms. She was half of my height, so was easy to carry as a child. She used to shout, “Gir jayenge beta!”[i would fall ], And then papa had to interfere, “ Don’t trouble my dokari[ old lady]”.
Last night, when I got call from Munna chacha, he told about critical situation of Amma ( my GrandMa).I decided to catch her glimpse last time, when I heard her saying, ”Bittu…………”, and then her cries in pain. I wished if I could take off all her pains. In my whole journey in Rajasthan roadways bus throughout night, I kept praying Govinda( my dear lord) to lend her some more hours, so that I could manage to see her but probably he was in deep sleep and could not get my message. I reached late by 2 hours.
My Amma was one of the beautiful woman whom I know. She has the purity in her soul and which often had reflected in her eyes. A mystique smile and her simplicity used to make her different and attractive. When I saw her black and white picture in my father’s album, I simply fell in love with this Cinderella girl.She in her "seeda pallu style saaree" without any shade of makeup could be compared with Madhubala[ old bollywood actress].
My Baba(GrandPa) were five brothers and this little soul in her just married life used to busy with doing all the household work and feeding all five giants and one father in law( my great Grandfather, who were another legend) and her own children.
Both my baba(Bade Baba(great grandfather) and Chhote Baba) needed a battalion to handle them. I sometimes compare myself with Babur( Akbar’s Grandfather) who used to belong with the family of Ghenzais khan and Temur. In childhood there was deep terror of Bade Baba and Chhote baba, in all the people. Chhote baba( my grandfather) were extremely crazy about neatness. One can imagine about his fanaticism through following incidents.
Once I was tired after getting some eatables from market of Karauli ( where my grandparents lived, now chacha and his family with other cousins. Oh yeah, we have a haunted haveli over there still ), so I sat down on the floor of aangan( which is quite large).At the same moment, I was reminded by baba that I was a school going guy and don’t know anything about neatness. I had to go for bath with chilled water instantaneously.
Similarly when in morning water was discharged through municipal connections in the domestic supply lines, whole 50 meter pipe was washed, utensils were cleaned up 3 times, buckets, tanks were washed, mugs , etc were washed and then only were filled with fresh water.Sometimes all this cleaning used to take so much time time that water supply time got over and we were without fresh water.
Amma was so busy since early mornings till late nights. Preparing food for all, washing dishes, cleaning of aangan, washing clothes and then preparing the ayurvedic powdered medicines for baba on his “nirogdham”[ a very old ayurvedic magazine, still famous]
formulas, involved her all.
Few years later, her spine bent, serving the joint family. It bent forever but she continued to listen every individual.This all was witnessed by all the neem trees and banayan trees in our aangan, when she used to roam so fast from kitchen to bathroom, from bathroom to pooja ghar[small worhip place] , from pooja ghar to kitchen again and then to haveli. Every one was taken care of, in her custody. From a simple Bahu She got the status of Amma[ a synonym to mother in hindi ] from all, even from Bade Baba and Chhote Baba.
I loved to see her laughing. Whenever she used to laugh with her canine teeth missing, a whistling sound was created. That made her real sweet.Once during mid ninties, we all were watching a beauty pageant competition late night, Amma predicted the victory of a Venezuelan participant which was not so attractive and had least clothes, which really happened. When we asked how come she managed to predict so correct. She simply replied,” Nango ka hi zamana hai.” [ It is an era of nudes].
Then one fine day, when our TV set was not working.Baba asked me if I could repair it. When I told him that I wouldn’t be able to make it, then he said simply that my Engineering in Electronics is simply a waste. He rated Chunnu mechanic in Karauli better than me. It was Amma who came for the rescue and argued with Baba, “Tumne kya kar liya to ?”[what great thing have you achieved?] Baba simply subjected to her.
Then once on the occasion of holi[an indian festival of colors], she conspired with me to color baba who used to hate such hooliganism. And when we colored him with dry colors, first he saw Amma with anger and disapproval but later on he joined us and the we all colored mumma, papa and sonu. It was fun, real fun.
But Now ………….
Now they are no more, I will miss both of them surely.
I know as soon as she will reach there, in that unknown world, Baba will say her in his typical style in brij[a dialect used in Mathura side] , “aei re tu aa gayi.”[So you have come ] And Amma will reply, “ Hau, tumhe sabar nahi hai to kaa karein ?” [What can i do when you don't have any patience?]
When I said last good bye under a banyan tree in front of her incineration at funeral, the holy smoke was blessing us all in her typical motherhood form.
I love u Amma.
May you get the eternal peace wherever you are!!

I will just say you all to spend some time with your old beautiful women.Otherwise you will miss them later like me.

Melting Memories

I was fully absorbed in completing my English assignment. I had to find the synonyms and antonyms of words given by the class teacher, from dictionary.
Beside me, sonu, my younger sister was also trying efforts to concentrate in her homework.
We used to do our homework in our government quarter’s lawn.

She could not resist for long and asked,”Bhaiyya, he is late today!”

I nodded and sped writing with my kingson pen on the blank pages. It was half past six and we had been waiting for holler. It was hard to concentrate on our work. And then we heard that yowl, “Ice-cream Walle”. We close our note books and ran to wards main gate.
It was “Jugnu Bhaiyya”, the only ice-cream thela in the colony during school days. We used to wait for so eagerly because of 2 reasons.
One for the orange candy which was used for coloring of tongue and,
the other was more important that is for comics.

I started with “Chacha Chaudhary ***”, but later I did not find much interest in tales of his smartness. Then Nagraz and Supercommando Dhruv became my heroes.

During childhood also, I was more attracted towards curves of Visarpi (Nagraz’s girlfriend which resides in his body, man what a couple :) and Natasha (Dhruv’s girlfriend).

Later on Doga was another comic character who became a hero while struggling against all odds in his life and the cruel society.I have spent hundreds of hours reading them.And then thinking, analyzing all logics given for their existence and possibility.
I came to know about Archie and Tintin , very late.

Right now I am in a mall and enjoying the fig and honey combo of Baskins & Robbins. But I don’t enjoy it as I used to, the orange candy by “Jungnu Bhaiyya”.
Jugnu Bhaiyya died of throat cancer later in his life. But his impression will always be there in my mind. He has given us so many cool and sweet memories after all.

NOTE***
Chacha Chaudhary ka dimaag computer se bhi tez chalta hai :)

Govinda Aala Re

Every year, I keep fast on Krishna Janmashtami[ bday of lord krishna].

Krishna has been always a part of my thoughts. He has been mysterious, inspirational, heroic, enigmatic and supportive to me always. I find him as a cool buddy more than Hindu God. This year I thought of knowing him about him more. Besides for a long time I have been missing a long ride on my Thunderbird. So I decided to catch him at his birthplace that is Mathura.
Though i was going there 3 days in advance of Janmashtami but weekend was more comfortable for such ride than a single day holiday.
I asked my friends for this ride, short and enjoyable. Some of them were engaged in weekend errands, others rejected the idea by listening Mathura only, as they all wanted to visit some snow peaked mountains not any religious place. Finally I decided to do it alone. Arguments with my younger sis over some matter gave me enough courage to leave city for some time. I surfed http://www.mapmyindia.com/ and found that there are 2 routes for it. One goes from Greater Noida and other one is NH2.So I decided to follow the Greater Noida route.
So on Saturday morning I arranged a Digital Camera from my friend and set off around 11 AM. It was too late but the day was cloudy so I felt a bit fortunate .I kept some fruits and a water bottle in my bag along with legal papers of the vehicle.

Wrong time, Wrong way
Greater Noida expressway is a dream road for bikers.
Earlier also I had droved on it many times. But that day I was driving a bit low as I knew that I have to go a long way. When I reached at a circle, I got confused which way to go, so I asked a native person ,”Where is the road for Mathura?”
“You are on wrong route dude. You should have gone from Badarpur border in Delhi.”
This sentence extracted all my courage .I thought, “I got screwed at the beginning only .What about the whole journey? Lets go back to home and have a sound sleep.”
But then somehow I remembered Spartans and drove back to Badarpur border. That 45 minutes drive was full of disappointment, frustration and traffic.

Maa mujhe bhookh lagi hai
I crossed Faridabad and Ballabhgarh, though I was feeling hunger badly. But for the sake of some accomplishment I halted only after Ballabhgarh. I stopped at Kake da dhaba(roadside food joint).I wanted Dhanno( mare in movie sholey, here for my bike) also to have some rest. I didn’t want to listen any whinning of Dhanno.

Green grass blue sky in this beautiful world

I continued riding for next one hour.
On both sides, green fields were spread till the horizon. Eucalyptus trees on both sides of road were providing a kind of protection from ultraviolets..I crossed Palwal and Hodal and halted at “RadheShayam’s Thadi”(Roadside tea stall).

Radheshyaam S/0 Bhagwat Dayal,
Graam Bhulwaana, Tehsil Hodal,
District Faridabad

Tea was doubtlessly amazing. It revived me for another war.
Radheshayaam was a pleasant, ignorant and innocent person away from the shrewdness of city. He told me that he bought a buffalo recently for 15K bucks which gives 12 liters milk. Though before the deal he was told that it will give 15 liters milk, but still he could manage with 12 liters. He told that he is happy being at rural place as his village has light without any power cut and water supply without bills. Amazing, Isn’t it? India is shining really.


Govinda aala re
After crossing Kosi, and driving for next 40 minutes, I reached at a crossroad where I found a board written with, “Vrindavan 6 Km, Mathura 11 Km”. I was very tired so I preferred to go to Vrindavan which later turned out an intelligent decision. It was drizzling. So I felt being welcomed in a warm manner after 220 km drive. In the way, I was stunned by the beauty of a temple named, “AkshyaPatra Krishna temple”. So I stopped and visited it.
While moving ahead I met Vivek Agarwal, who was a school guy. I gave him lift till the town. He helped me out in finding a cheaper lodging place. I stayed at Nutan Guest house at Vidyapeeth circle. This place was near to most of the temples. I asked somebody about the popular temples. There were couple of temples like “Bihariji”, “Rang ji”, ”Govindji”, “Radha-Damodar”, “Nidhivan”, “Taide kambhe ka Mandir”, “Radha-Vallabh ji”, “Sneh bihari ji”, etc.

Neo age Krishna
Vrindavan is untidy like other Indian holy places. It seems all souls from the world arrive here to shed off their sins. The narrow streets were full of people. What surprised me that here people say “Radhe-Radhe” and Radhaji[girlfriend of lord krishna ] has equal respect to Krishna. Besides all the time one can hear the sound of “Dholak and Manjire”[Classical Indian musical instruments] in background. On both sides there was local market. In front of me 2 kids aged around 12- 15 years were passing some comments to few girls doing some shopping in the local market. One of them had a bet with other guy that he will yell,”hello darling“, and the other will give him 5 bucks. It was an entertainment. They were flirting at the age of innocence.

Truth Seeker
“Bihariji Temple” is in the middle of the town. People offer lotus/rose garlands and sweets to the big boss. I too followed the same rule. When I reached the Aangan[an opened hall], it was populous. The building was old and made up of red stone. There are many tales related to the “Biharji”. Here I found that the idol is not exposed to the devotees for more than 5 minutes at a stretch. It is said that if one gazes it for longer period, then “Bihariji “would come with the devotee.
When I was tying laces of my shoes, I listened an interesting conversation. A 10 year old kid asked his grandpa,“Baba, you told me that if one gazes the idol for 20 minutes, it goes mad.”
Grandpa replied, “Off course, it is true.”
After a period, the kid replied, ”But I am still normal, I gazed it for more than 20 minutes.” Whole family burst into laughter.
I realized that children are more close to the truth and have courage to explore it rather than accepting it as it is like most of us.

The Base Vocalists
Then I moved to “Radha-Vallabh ji’s temple”. The idol here was quite real. The expressions were if he is ready to open his eyes, the very next moment. Here I was revealed to the fact why India’s most of population is starving after seeing the tummies of priests. One of them, was chewing some pan-masala. I did lose the respect for them.
I think this is the reason why god keeps on saying, ”You worship me and I will free you from pains.” So I suggest to all poor of this nation try to find out some position of priest at any religious spot and u will never starve.
While exiting the temple, I found the beggars outside, asking for money, ”Radhe- Radhe”. They had such a base in their voice that even Morrison, Hatfield, Cobain, and others would have felt inferiority complex. So finally I found the raw vocal talent pool of India.

Yeh Anna kahan hai?
I was too tired, so I decided to see finally “Rangji ka Mandir” only. It was somewhat far from the “Bihariji’s Mandir”. The streets were narrow but you would have enjoyed the walks in such streets. I asked shopkeepers, rickshaw-walla and passersby, “where is Rangji ?”Each time it reminded me of any Bollywood [Indian film industry] hero asking for the underworld don Anna. Finally when I reached at the main entrance, the guard told me, ”It is closed.” I was disappointed, ”So Anna doesn’t want to see me.” But nothing could be done, finally boss is boss. Then someone suggested me to visit “Taide kambhe ka Mandir”.

Demon is still alive
“Taide kambhe ka Mandir” is also known as “Shahji ka Mandir”.The Architecture was more similar to the catholic church. The kind of sculpture was amazing. From priest, I came to know that it was built around 160 years ago by some merchant of Lakhnow named “Shah Biharilal”. He got it constructed when his wish for son from Bihariji was fulfilled. He got 2 sons, “Kundanlaal” and “Fundanlaan”. Names were really coooooool.
On its wall, I found nude pictures of Gopis[the girls of village gokul].I found them some provocative. Though I have respect for all gods in every religion but still I won’t deny that those pieces of art were accentuating and titillating.In fact I have found according to my experience that older civilizations were more casual about sex while here we believe in making everything a taboo.

Main bhi Maakhan khayo
In Vrindavan, you will find the best quality of milk products. I had “khurchan rabri” and the lassi 2 or 3 times. Most of the people here possess cattle. Finally after having dinner, I returned to guest house for a sound sleep (even after the presence of mosquitoes).


Morning Raga
In morning Vivek(the school guy) joined me. In the morning, I visited “Nidhi-van” and “seva-kunj”.
They are gardens where Krishna do raas[romance] with gopis at late night hours. Nobody is allowed to stay here in the night. So as usual censorship is done here also. But I found the place somewhat thorny not horny at all. But god can make even hell the heaven so may be this place would be good for raas. I joined the devotees for the morning-prayer which was quite soothing and inspiring.


The holy water

Then I left for the Yamuna(the holy river of India) with vivek. Here I saw the Kadamb-tree where Krishna stole the clothes of gopis. Many people believe that Krishna did this act just for fun, but the truth is that he wanted to teach a lesson to the gopis. He did not want the gopis to bath in river without any piece of clothing because water is a male according to the Hindu mythology.
I enjoyed a ride in the boat. If one visits Vrindavan, it should visit Yamuna river in morning. It was really a beauty worth watching.
I came to see the KeshiGhaat where Krishna killed a demon named,”Keshi” who was the brother of his uncle “Kans”.


Will be back
Some other temples which I could not see were “Sneh Bihari ji”, “Iskon” and “Rangji”.
It was a sunny day, so I decided to move to delhi. After having “poori sabzi” as breakfast, I left the guest house. Though I did not want to leave Vrindavan incomplete, but one has always to move on. I was feeling somewhat connected to the Vrindavan corridors and its streets.I would say that if you visit this place, either you would not like it because of its untidiness or you will fall in love with it. People here say that Krishna here resides in every molecule. I felt blessed feeling his presence in every breath, in every scene and in every face.
Hope to see Vrindavan again.
Shabba khair and happy Krishna Janmashtami.
So here is metallica for You

Metallica-Turn The...

Green Inside Me

Today after reading the R.K Pachauri's statement in TOI over UN Climate Changes Report, I looked at my “Chhotu”, my roommate in the corner.
”Chhotu” has been with me for last one year.
I think it knew what i had to say, but i did not.
Sometimes when you need something from someone, you just be quite and ask it by your glance only J. He knows that I wanted something from it.
He knows that i am an incorrigible selfish as all humans.
Whenever I see it,touch it, its green shade rejuvenates me, tells me that life is beautiful.
Chhotu is my small bamboo plant.

But today I was feeling guilty.

Since my childhood I have taken so much from Mother Nature, but i hardly had thought of returning anything to it. I have huge debts to pay.
I am feeling under pressure.

Will I have to pay it by sacrificing my life, that too by getting suffocated in the dust and smoke particles?

Or by getting drowned in the floods in 2030 as I don’t know swimming too?

I get a feel of trauma when I imagine such situation.

If not then what should I do?

Since morning I have thought about it twenty times.
Many many memories are related to Mother Nature.
I still remember the days when I used to play on the green grass in my school days.
The long siesta under “Gulmohar” in my “aangan” in childhood.
Last time when spent time with my friends at "Husn-sagar" pumping station in the middle of “Thar desert” in Bikaner(my native place), keeping legs under water for hours.

When I had bath in river or when we played volley-ball on Goa beeches.

When enjoyed the rides on the curves of mountain roads on my “Renukaji” and “Vaishno Devi” trips.

When I enjoyed trekking in the dense forests of “kaiga”.

Similarly a lot of them are there in the album, very precious moments to me.
Whenever i see the pictures in my album, it still leaves smile on my face; that is the impact of Nature on me.

I think there is some Green in me too.
I have gained it from Mother Nature, when i walked bared foot on her chest.

I gained it when I saw its beauty from naked eyes.
I gained it when I listened the chirping of birds.

I gained it when I smelled the wet soil.

Being an urban legend like all of you,when i spend most of my time in front of a stupid box, i realize that I have spent very little time with Nature but whenever I remember it; I think I belong to it somewhere, somehow. I am not sure why I do feel so, but I do.

In morning when I was deep in my memories and thoughts; I heard the sound
of drops of rain and the aroma of wet soil again left me in debt.
I looked out in balcony.
It was drizzling.

No, No!!!

I think I still have time to save it.
No!
I will do it. I can do it.
I spend so much time and money to feel life easy but what if there is no life.
I will save my life and I am ready to do some of the little sacrifices.
I will hop on cycle rickshaws for shorter distances.
Though I love my bike but it doesn't that mean that I will spoil the beauty of my surroundings.
I think we all have some Green inside all of us, don't how it entered but its there in you too.

Let us extract it out and spread it again on this beautiful planet.

please check the following tips too.I know you have to do important mails on outlooks/lotus notes.Then a large amout of datastreaming of mp3 files.
It will hardly take 5 minutes of your busy schedule.

Tips for reducing global warming.

finally for all of you here is an award for bearing me. :)

Michael Jackson - ...

WhiTE NOisE

Sometimes I think, that life is full of moments. Moments are full of happiness, pain, memories, celebrations, defeats, and lots and lots of emotions; and each is the directly or indirectly a byproduct of relations.

Relations!!!!

Relations may be personal, business, casual or formal.
Each relation is with a person who came at a moment in your life.
Sometimes I found myself just running to catch these moments, save these relations and in the end losing them all in go or one by one.

Causes may be different.......
Most of times they fade with distances or with the tick of time.
Otherwise we lose 'em when we don't agree or accept the situations/opinions one more last time.Psychologists term it as 'ego'.

But it seems whatever we have got will be snatched away....
Whenever I feel that HE is making my life hell,
making me more frustrated;
I just meet a person who had a much harder time than me.
Then only I realizes, I still have a long way to be f*****.
Sometimes I don't even get time to laugh at myself also...

Since last 20 years I have been listening...
Been listening to my elders...to make them happy!
listening to mentors, teachers...
Listening to gods in tough times as well as good time,
All of them in a tightlipped manner!
All sounds, whispers sometimes echo.
Words of suggestions...
Agonies of dear ones...
Complaints more from strangers rather than known ones...
Blessings more from strangers than friends...
Curses/slangs more from friends than others...
Have been listening the teachings of the Geeta, Koran…
The chaos of people...
Cries of poor..
Speeches of leaders...
Melodies of bands..
Sound of bombs..
Roars of guns...
Sound of a soft kiss ..
Anthems of nations...
But never got time to listen myself...
Seems whole Universe is dissatisfied ..
Now whenever I close my eyes to listen my inner self.
All these frequencies just merge to create a noise...
like a white noice... {http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/aa/White_noise.ogg}
where I can't get any of the thought, a sound which provokes no emotion...
No emotion!!!!!