Friday, July 01, 2011

After a long hiatus!

I know its been a very long time, since i captured any of those scattered thoughts. Was just caught up with life with much of passion.So many things have happened since 2008 around me but yes as usual i am static and so is my life.Same firm, same single status but yes atleast engaged.Have got some more experience and maturity.The quest of happiness, love and satisfaction still continues. Some sort of emptiness still hunts :-)
 Some of my crushes and best friends got married and some of them are going to be parents soon.My beloved sister too got married. Luckily got a brother in law who is one of my best friend :-) I lived life as usual with passion, fell into love again multiple times even with more intensity, got hurt again with more intensity :)
At work, went through a roller coaster ride surpassing all odds and contributing to the firm as entrepreneur as usual.Father got retired, bikaner my heaven is also lost in transition.... And yes by god's grace now got a golden hearted girl whom going to marry soon in november....Looking forward for next challenges life is going to throw at me :P. But yes hopefully will be able to share more on this page ! take care till then!

Friday, September 26, 2008

An Unanswered Question?

These days i feel very exhausted as it seems i am constantly fighting....
Each day when i woke up, i see some horrific news on the first page of newspaper.
Some blasts and many killings all across the globe ....
Some other day about how the whole economy system is fallen apart due to the failures of 200 years old giant banks...

Some day i read about how the global warming will bring the end of days soon..

I don't know where the world is moving...who will survive and who won't....

But it seems that most of us are not struggling just for survival but even for acquiring more and more..
Many of us want to leave the impact of their presence in this world ...even after death...

All of us carry some big dreams ...

Some of us just want to feel the present moment , the flow of life..with whatever they have...

All of us entangled in the questions, like ,"Will i get the person whom i love most?"

"Will i get the position and status i am striving for?" "Will i get the satisfaction."

"Will i get the bread today?"
But then there are some who have only one question all time in their mind
”Who am I?”
They are not sure of their existence, their identity, their normality ....Some of such classes are Eunuchs, transgenders, gays...


Some 2 months back, when i was traveling back from Gwalior to Delhi in a train, a “Hijra” [Eunuch] came there in full makeup, kajal, lipstick and all that stuff...Unlike others it was well dressed and not so ugly looking. Unusually, he was asking for money very politely...no “Taali-Shaali”[clapping in rude manner ]. Unusually i felt a bit pity for it. As any other indian mentality, i simply gave some 10 bucks to it, without falling in any argument....

Most of us are also afraid of “Hijras”....
And take them with disgust an disrespect as they belong to some disassociated part of society...

So when most of the passengers were giving money to this hijra in the train due to all other feelings except kindness or pity...a 10 year old kid asked him a question, “Anuty aap uncle jaise kyun dikh rahe ho?”[Why are you looking like a male?] Then he said to his father,”Papa, yeh aunty se mujhe darr lag raha.Yeh uncle hain kya?
[Papa, I am afraid of her. Is she an Uncle?]

The child was innocent, so was the Hijra....and so was the question, only thing which was guilty there, it was the silence after it.....That was killing ...The father did not utter anything, the Hijra had a cool stare on the kid with wet eyes.I could not locate the exact feeling it had, in his eyes.
He left the coach without further collection...some of the idiots laughed at it....The question remained unanswered....

It has lasted for many centuries ...not sure how longer it will?

I thought more on this subject, and found that the mentality of the society has gone more shallow...

In Hindu mythology, Lord Shiva has been represented as ,” Ardh-Naarishwar”.
I believe that the its not about being only physically male or female...
It is about tough and soft part of your identity...
The struggling and loving part of your personality...
Every male has some female presence inside and vice versa...

I do have some female friends who carry very daring, adventurous and fighting attitude like males and then some of my male friends who are very soft at heart and cry even seeing the pain of some stray dog....

So each entity got a balanced ratio of both male and female feelings ….but yes in some cases, it turns out odd ...like physically they are masculine but they carry soft feelings... but it is not a sin ..

Being sexually unfit means that anybody is unfit to live in the society...I am amazed that when criminals, politicians and terrotists have right to live in this world then why not this class of society..

Today while surfing internet, a story of one such person, made me feel sorry for the mentality prevailing in this society for ages ...Yup i am also a part of this society..but the story had changed my mindset .....So i am dedicating this post to this senior of my college( MNIT, Jaipur), Gunraaj Dhaliwal...who now is Gazal Dhaliwal.. He has been one of the famous face of the college as he was a very good singer and orator....and yes one of the brightest student ....But i would agree that i too was in the crowd, who laughed at him, the way he used to walk or talk( a bit girlish it was)...I regret all my those remarks i made then....Now he has changed his sex from male to female and looks very beautiful....

Though now she is a female but yes, whatever she did, it required a lot of guts like male...that is to come forward, accept yourself, your truth and bring your correct identity in front of world and ask the whole world too accept it ..

We should understand the kind of feelings such people are going through..

Anyways, i would love to share the story of Gazal, with you guys.
please read following links :

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transgendernews/message/26439

http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=PW481IJoBPo

Gazal you have answered the question which was raised some months back in the train.

Thanks for it !!!

But then there are so many other gazals, who too wants to be listened by us…..to be recognized by us…who do not have supporting parents, neither they are financially strong enough to bear these costly operations…lets try to understand them too!!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Pappu Can't Dance Saala!!

“Jaane tu, ya Jaane na” has entered in my favorite movie list.
These days “Pappu Can’t..” is on my mind completely.
Fantastic beats with very cool lyrics..........

I was able to relate with movie due to Rajput family background too.
It reminded me of my grandfather who always used to say, ”Beta pit ke mat aana kabhi verna main bhi pitai karunga.”[Don’t ever come beaten, otherwise I will also beat you.]

The “Bagheera bhaiyya” and the “Bhalu bhaiyya” in the movie reminded me of some of the freaks in my joint family at karauli, where we too have a haveli.
Anyways I will discuss about it sometime later.

Right now, the only thing which has been bothering me for days is, “Why Pappu can’t dance?”In the song Pappu has been described as a multi-talented person and truly speaking I would die to be like Pappu, but then if he is so talented, why can’t he dance?He is rich and he could easily have afforded some dance lessons from some experts like Shaimak Davar.

I think he can dance but he doesn’t want to.
I put myself in his shoe and analyzed situation from all perspectives.

Finally I came up with following possible reasons:

1) FEAR 2 CeleBRatE

One main cause may be fear to celebrate, socialize and party.
For last few years, I have seen that how Pappu has been loosing that fighting and struggling spirit which he had earlier.

Pappu now has seen world and realized how cheap life is.

The serial blasts in the nation, specifically in the cosmopolitan cities( Jaipur/ Ahemdabad/ Bangalore/ Delhi) have left terror among all. The night life of the cities has been engulfed by the darkness of terror. People are afraid to gather and celebrate. They are afraid of outing.

Pappu is no exception. During college days when he was more irresponsible, careless and naughty, his parents never cared about him but now he daily receives call from them and his parents make it sure that he has reached home before 10 in evening. During college he engaged in many brawls but now he avoid argument even from “cycle-wala”.

He does not carry valuables these days for these reasons. He has lost the spark of life because of terror. Seeing so many innocents losing lives without any reason has put him in shock. Some of them were close friends and some of unknown but all were bind with the relation of humanity. He is not sure that the governments or the police now can save his or his dear one’s life.

The system which he chose, paid all taxes to and respected in all manners by giving gifts and bribes is still unhappy with him and thus doesn’t care about his life. He can’t put his life on stake and celebrate causing worries and trauma to his dear family who are far apart. So he has actually left going to any party and celebration and thus is not having opportunity to dance.

2)SORRY, The DanCE FLoOr IS RESERVED

You forgot that Pappu carries “Sharma”, not “Yadav” or “Gurjar”.

Today when even air and water is being reserved in the basis of castes, he is left far behind as he belongs to General category. I heard last time that Govt has reserved space in the all the happening places too, including malls, pubs, restaurants and Discotheques. He does not carry any surname which can provide him some more space and opportunity to move freely.

So whenever he goes to disc, he simply just move because he has only that much space. I am damn sure like other fields, he is much more skilled in the dance also but yes, he is not getting the chance.

Whenever he tries to show his dance moves, he get jerks and kicks from others if his leg or hand crosses other’s reserved space. People dance over his feet. Frustrated from all this, he once left dancing. I am afraid one day he may leave this world too if he doesn’t get any opportunity to live. Hopefully government won’t put reservation tag on it.

3)LOneR

Pappu has grown up now. Earlier he had friends to laugh, fun and celebrate each moment of life. Now in the race of life, when every one is getting busy in their lives, he is alone.

He also has to bear the load of other’s expectations, his doesn’t matter much. He must also dream of flats and property in metros. He must have six figure salary. He must have a beautiful girlfriend. So Pappu is quite busy in meeting deadlines.Earlier he might have hit his feet on the floor but now only his fingers hit the keyboards.

Earlier he forgot time while dancing at hostel terrace on the birthday parties of hostel mates and even on the worst noisy sound tracks, but now he feels lonely even in the most happening discos. He miss all those previous moments.He misses his freinds and thus has left going there now. It seems crazy to him now. He finally forgot to shake his leg.

4)CArBoN FoOtPriNTS

His sister tinny, brought some special shoes for him from USA 2 years ago.

Shoes had carbon sole. Last time when Pappu danced, he simply rocked the stage. But he listened some noise from environmentalists that he has left so much carbon footprints in the environment which has melted the icebergs in arctic regions and has brought hurricanes in US. Indian government unaffected by Kosi flood but yes affected deeply by the US hurricanes finally put a ban on Pappu’s dancing.

NO CONCLUSION

I am not sure why Pappu doesn’t dance or Can't dance, but if any of the above reason is true then its really sad. I would say that Pappu should celebrate each moment of life, no matter how cheap life has become. I would suggest him to fight back and remove all fears from his mind.

I would suggest him to follow his heart, follow his wishes and expectations before others. I would suggest he should remain in touch with his friends. Relations only fade when you allow them to.

And finally, just shake your leg no matter how ugly you do it :)

Guys, If You have found any other reason for this question, please do post it in comment!!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Tales Of A Warrior

I scribbled down this piece few months back; when I got the chance to spend few days with my Nanaji (Maternal Grandfather).Though he is now no more, but his memories and his tales of bravery will inspire me to move forward in life.


It was another friday afternoon.
I was in a waiting room of “DharamShila Cancer Hospital and Research Centre”.
Inside a day care ward, my Nanu was being given blood units so that to enhance his immunity. For initiating the chemotherapy, he needed to be strong enough to bear the strong medication. If you get chance to see a blood unit vessel, observe a drop. In the pipe, it takes spherical shape, waits for a moment and then drops with a declaration,”Yes, I am life, I am entering in you.”
At this place I came across many human emotions.


In this hospital, i witnessed many tears, many smiles, cries, pains, efforts, selfless services. I guess the only other place where one can witness more variations of human nature is a war field. Sometimes I too feel that god would be envious of humans, after all we can feel which He can’t due to his magnanimity and divinity. I got a Nigerian friend there who came for the treatment of his sister. Nigerian government had sponsored her treatment.
I don’t remember his name…
But then friends don’t need also, they are simply friends.
I hardly remember surnames of my very dear friends.


A night before I had a long discussion with Nanu at home about his war experiences. When he told me his experiences, it was not less than watching any movie like, “Thin Red Line”, “Black Hawk Down” or “Saving Private Ryan”.
Off course real life is more interesting than reel life. In each Indian Army Unit there are 2 core units -medical and educational.
Nanu belonged to the educational one.
He was respected till his last days.
Getting 12 medals and retirement as honorary captain; needs too many brave tasks to do. Seeing so many tough terrains from Assam to Kashmir and so many war situations made him a legend for me at least.
Though men of educational core are not sent to war fronts but Nanu chose to fight.
In fact he fought all 3 wars.
Though you would be knowing some of the details of Indian War but still, I would like to share some of his tales.



Hyderbadi Merger:
After independence, most of the Indian independent estates were united by the Iron man of India that is “Sardar Patel”.
It was an impossible task but he made it done intelligently.
Intelligently because; he convinced them to merge using tricks or blackmailing sometimes. For example, Gwalior Estate was merged due to fear because the pistol used by Nathuram Godse was said to belonged to Gwalior Estate.
Hyderabad was the only remaining state which was isolated from India.
There was some Gen. Chaudhary who was in charge during the operation. Forces were accumulated. Nana was also in it. General asked the Nizam and threatened him that his daughter would be abducted if did not agree for the merger. It is said that there held a treaty with the Nizam at the breakfast table.
{
Do read the painful memories of Hyderabad merger at
http://www.boloji.com/analysis2/0233.htm
}



Chinese Attack:
He told his fade experiences about Indo-China war in 1962.
He gave some insights also. China opened some of the entertaining clubs which distracted very high level officials. Some of corrupted Indian officers did not notice the degrading situation and kept enjoying. I won’t put names here because I don’t have any proofs for this and I don’t have rights too. This is all what I got from him.


Yeah off course, the Indian army was not prepared for the war at that moment. When China was preparing 7 lines of attack, India had only 3 lines of defense. All rusted 303 rifles were not enough to stop the Chinese attack.Nanu was posted to Border just after 6 months of training at Pachmadhi, MP.
{
Check out for more details:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sino-Indian_War
}



Indo-Pak war (1965):
This was the war which he had most refreshed memories.
As he told, he was watching movie( on projector) in Army Unit at Babina (4th Horse) , UP.
Suddenly alarm rang. Half hour duration was enough to get ready.
In next few hours he was in a army truck with the driver.
He was in 4th Horse and ordered to move to Siyalkot sector.
His elder brother Dilip Singh ji, who was in 15th Rajput Infantry, posted to Lahore sector; while his eldest brother Ranjit Singh ji, who was in 61 Cavalry was posted to Atari.
When he was ready in uniform, he was not sure of where to move.
Though he was in-charge of 10 more trucks behind his, but he was not sure, where to move and what will be the next halt. What he knew that, he had to simply follow the truck in front of him. As he confessed that when all the carriers moved in a row, no truck was allowed to stop; this made him to pee in the truck only. In a journey of around 2 days, it stopped only for 4 times for the distribution of food and other normal activities of the soldiers.


He told that when he reached at the border, he had 4-5 soldiers with him in his team. One of them was Muslim, Juber Ahmed. Some others in the troop were blaming him and his community for the war. It was Nanaji, who kept him with himself always, even while peeing; otherwise people were ready to kill him before they kill enemy.


His team was provided some ration, ammunition and some earth digging equipments (for trenches). As he explained that India keeps 3 lines of defence.

1) Infantry: It includes the front line of soldiers who have guns and move fearlessly.
2) Tanks: After Infantry, tank battalion moves around 20-30 Km behind.
3) Artillery: Artillery moves around 40-50 Km behind Infantry.
4) OP: Then there is an OP ( I am not sure of the full form) who is basically a group of army intelligence in the enemy territory. This is the most risky job doing team. It includes JCOs and officers. They have a transmitter; using which they keep giving geographical coordinates of the enemy to the men in artillery. After receiving information from OP, Artillery fires at the exact location. A miss, can kill our soldiers too, which is quite often.



Nana told that during those days India had Centurion tank which was quite famous for its tactics. So now Nana was moving inside the Pak territory. It was a very fertile land. It was greens all around. Sugarcane crops and dry fruits trees were spread all around.
Army men were moving ahead fearlessly enjoying the sugarcane and other fruits in their fields. They covered miles and miles until they find any human.
It was in after noon when they heard some engine sound.
Everyone was wondering till they find a fighter plane firing at them.
Reds spilled on the green fields.
It took few moments which transformed the silence into noise.
Transformation of courage into fear….
Dream into reality……
They never knew if this was the real war.
They had heard it in books and newspapers but seen death first time.
Chill moved till the last point of their ribs.
They ran back.
They ran, ran and ran …. ............
They were not ready to die so quickly.
They stopped only when their commanding officers who were coming back met them behind. They asked them to stop and move again towards enemy territory.
The officers threatened them to move forward or unless they would be shot dead.
Death comes so easily; they never knew.
So they sincerely obeyed the orders, they didn’t have choice too.
When man doesn’t have any choice or all choices lead to same result, man chooses to be brave.


They opened the mouth of their guns and moved ahead. They dig trenches at some of the places and hid inside. Enemy planes came 3-4 times a day, dropped bombs.
Whenever fighter planes returned back, they got chance to move forward. Planes came in night also and used to hover till they find any light. All soldiers were advised not to light any “bidi” also.


When they almost reached the Sialkot, they found empty villages, opened shops.
When Indian Air force entered into picture, many had died already.
When they reached into the towns, Indian government had ordered for cease-fire.
Men died …Nations lived.



War till end
Nanu kept fighting till his last days. He was a man of honor.
When I asked him about the importance of war, he told me that the life is worth for fighting. Nobody likes to kill other, but when you are attacked by, you fight for your existence.
He fought when he was attacked by the tumor in his liver.
It is true probably; what Red said in Shwashank Redemption,” Get busy living or Get busy dying.”
Life really is worth fighting for, worth struggling for.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

A Beautiful Woman

I was feeling the cold of her frail fingers in my hand.
She was there with her eyes, closed lying on the carpet on the floor.
A dim yellow flame in an earthen lamp was visible through the wetness in my eyes. The flame was not strong enough to put the heat again in her. She was a beauty whom I loved since my childhood. We both loved each other. But during all those years, I never got any tangible gift from her, which can remind me of her, but yes, she did all those showering of affection in all different ways.Through her unique indigenous delicacies in pickles, her special dishes for me whenever I visited her, through her hugs, stories, lessons of morality. She used to enjoy when I carried her light body my arms. She was half of my height, so was easy to carry as a child. She used to shout, “Gir jayenge beta!”[i would fall ], And then papa had to interfere, “ Don’t trouble my dokari[ old lady]”.
Last night, when I got call from Munna chacha, he told about critical situation of Amma ( my GrandMa).I decided to catch her glimpse last time, when I heard her saying, ”Bittu…………”, and then her cries in pain. I wished if I could take off all her pains. In my whole journey in Rajasthan roadways bus throughout night, I kept praying Govinda( my dear lord) to lend her some more hours, so that I could manage to see her but probably he was in deep sleep and could not get my message. I reached late by 2 hours.
My Amma was one of the beautiful woman whom I know. She has the purity in her soul and which often had reflected in her eyes. A mystique smile and her simplicity used to make her different and attractive. When I saw her black and white picture in my father’s album, I simply fell in love with this Cinderella girl.She in her "seeda pallu style saaree" without any shade of makeup could be compared with Madhubala[ old bollywood actress].
My Baba(GrandPa) were five brothers and this little soul in her just married life used to busy with doing all the household work and feeding all five giants and one father in law( my great Grandfather, who were another legend) and her own children.
Both my baba(Bade Baba(great grandfather) and Chhote Baba) needed a battalion to handle them. I sometimes compare myself with Babur( Akbar’s Grandfather) who used to belong with the family of Ghenzais khan and Temur. In childhood there was deep terror of Bade Baba and Chhote baba, in all the people. Chhote baba( my grandfather) were extremely crazy about neatness. One can imagine about his fanaticism through following incidents.
Once I was tired after getting some eatables from market of Karauli ( where my grandparents lived, now chacha and his family with other cousins. Oh yeah, we have a haunted haveli over there still ), so I sat down on the floor of aangan( which is quite large).At the same moment, I was reminded by baba that I was a school going guy and don’t know anything about neatness. I had to go for bath with chilled water instantaneously.
Similarly when in morning water was discharged through municipal connections in the domestic supply lines, whole 50 meter pipe was washed, utensils were cleaned up 3 times, buckets, tanks were washed, mugs , etc were washed and then only were filled with fresh water.Sometimes all this cleaning used to take so much time time that water supply time got over and we were without fresh water.
Amma was so busy since early mornings till late nights. Preparing food for all, washing dishes, cleaning of aangan, washing clothes and then preparing the ayurvedic powdered medicines for baba on his “nirogdham”[ a very old ayurvedic magazine, still famous]
formulas, involved her all.
Few years later, her spine bent, serving the joint family. It bent forever but she continued to listen every individual.This all was witnessed by all the neem trees and banayan trees in our aangan, when she used to roam so fast from kitchen to bathroom, from bathroom to pooja ghar[small worhip place] , from pooja ghar to kitchen again and then to haveli. Every one was taken care of, in her custody. From a simple Bahu She got the status of Amma[ a synonym to mother in hindi ] from all, even from Bade Baba and Chhote Baba.
I loved to see her laughing. Whenever she used to laugh with her canine teeth missing, a whistling sound was created. That made her real sweet.Once during mid ninties, we all were watching a beauty pageant competition late night, Amma predicted the victory of a Venezuelan participant which was not so attractive and had least clothes, which really happened. When we asked how come she managed to predict so correct. She simply replied,” Nango ka hi zamana hai.” [ It is an era of nudes].
Then one fine day, when our TV set was not working.Baba asked me if I could repair it. When I told him that I wouldn’t be able to make it, then he said simply that my Engineering in Electronics is simply a waste. He rated Chunnu mechanic in Karauli better than me. It was Amma who came for the rescue and argued with Baba, “Tumne kya kar liya to ?”[what great thing have you achieved?] Baba simply subjected to her.
Then once on the occasion of holi[an indian festival of colors], she conspired with me to color baba who used to hate such hooliganism. And when we colored him with dry colors, first he saw Amma with anger and disapproval but later on he joined us and the we all colored mumma, papa and sonu. It was fun, real fun.
But Now ………….
Now they are no more, I will miss both of them surely.
I know as soon as she will reach there, in that unknown world, Baba will say her in his typical style in brij[a dialect used in Mathura side] , “aei re tu aa gayi.”[So you have come ] And Amma will reply, “ Hau, tumhe sabar nahi hai to kaa karein ?” [What can i do when you don't have any patience?]
When I said last good bye under a banyan tree in front of her incineration at funeral, the holy smoke was blessing us all in her typical motherhood form.
I love u Amma.
May you get the eternal peace wherever you are!!

I will just say you all to spend some time with your old beautiful women.Otherwise you will miss them later like me.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Melting Memories


I was fully absorbed in completing my English assignment. I had to find the synonyms and antonyms of words given by the class teacher, from dictionary.
Beside me, sonu, my younger sister was also trying efforts to concentrate in her homework.
We used to do our homework in our government quarter’s lawn.

She could not resist for long and asked,”Bhaiyya, he is late today!”

I nodded and sped writing with my kingson pen on the blank pages. It was half past six and we had been waiting for holler. It was hard to concentrate on our work. And then we heard that yowl, “Ice-cream Walle”. We close our note books and ran to wards main gate.
It was “Jugnu Bhaiyya”, the only ice-cream thela in the colony during school days. We used to wait for so eagerly because of 2 reasons.
One for the orange candy which was used for coloring of tongue and,
the other was more important that is for comics.

I started with “Chacha Chaudhary ***”, but later I did not find much interest in tales of his smartness. Then Nagraz and Supercommando Dhruv became my heroes.

During childhood also, I was more attracted towards curves of Visarpi (Nagraz’s girlfriend which resides in his body, man what a couple :) and Natasha (Dhruv’s girlfriend).

Later on Doga was another comic character who became a hero while struggling against all odds in his life and the cruel society.I have spent hundreds of hours reading them.And then thinking, analyzing all logics given for their existence and possibility.
I came to know about Archie and Tintin , very late.


Right now I am in a mall and enjoying the fig and honey combo of Baskins & Robbins. But I don’t enjoy it as I used to, the orange candy by “Jungnu Bhaiyya”.
Jugnu Bhaiyya died of throat cancer later in his life. But his impression will always be there in my mind. He has given us so many cool and sweet memories after all.

NOTE***
Chacha Chaudhary ka dimaag computer se bhi tez chalta hai :)

Govinda Aala Re

Every year, I keep fast on Krishna Janmashtami[ bday of lord krishna].
Krishna has been always a part of my thoughts. He has been mysterious, inspirational, heroic, enigmatic and supportive to me always. I find him as a cool buddy more than Hindu God. This year I thought of knowing him about him more. Besides for a long time I have been missing a long ride on my Thunderbird. So I decided to catch him at his birthplace that is Mathura.
Though i was going there 3 days in advance of Janmashtami but weekend was more comfortable for such ride than a single day holiday.
I asked my friends for this ride, short and enjoyable. Some of them were engaged in weekend errands, others rejected the idea by listening Mathura only, as they all wanted to visit some snow peaked mountains not any religious place. Finally I decided to do it alone. Arguments with my younger sis over some matter gave me enough courage to leave city for some time. I surfed http://www.mapmyindia.com/ and found that there are 2 routes for it. One goes from Greater Noida and other one is NH2.So I decided to follow the Greater Noida route.
So on Saturday morning I arranged a Digital Camera from my friend and set off around 11 AM. It was too late but the day was cloudy so I felt a bit fortunate .I kept some fruits and a water bottle in my bag along with legal papers of the vehicle.

Wrong time, Wrong way
Greater Noida expressway is a dream road for bikers.
Earlier also I had droved on it many times. But that day I was driving a bit low as I knew that I have to go a long way. When I reached at a circle, I got confused which way to go, so I asked a native person ,”Where is the road for Mathura?”
“You are on wrong route dude. You should have gone from Badarpur border in Delhi.”
This sentence extracted all my courage .I thought, “I got screwed at the beginning only .What about the whole journey? Lets go back to home and have a sound sleep.”
But then somehow I remembered Spartans and drove back to Badarpur border. That 45 minutes drive was full of disappointment, frustration and traffic.

Maa mujhe bhookh lagi hai
I crossed Faridabad and Ballabhgarh, though I was feeling hunger badly. But for the sake of some accomplishment I halted only after Ballabhgarh. I stopped at Kake da dhaba(roadside food joint).I wanted Dhanno( mare in movie sholey, here for my bike) also to have some rest. I didn’t want to listen any whinning of Dhanno.

Green grass blue sky in this beautiful world

I continued riding for next one hour.
On both sides, green fields were spread till the horizon. Eucalyptus trees on both sides of road were providing a kind of protection from ultraviolets..I crossed Palwal and Hodal and halted at “RadheShayam’s Thadi”(Roadside tea stall).

Radheshyaam S/0 Bhagwat Dayal,
Graam Bhulwaana, Tehsil Hodal,
District Faridabad

Tea was doubtlessly amazing. It revived me for another war.
Radheshayaam was a pleasant, ignorant and innocent person away from the shrewdness of city. He told me that he bought a buffalo recently for 15K bucks which gives 12 liters milk. Though before the deal he was told that it will give 15 liters milk, but still he could manage with 12 liters. He told that he is happy being at rural place as his village has light without any power cut and water supply without bills. Amazing, Isn’t it? India is shining really.


Govinda aala re
After crossing Kosi, and driving for next 40 minutes, I reached at a crossroad where I found a board written with, “Vrindavan 6 Km, Mathura 11 Km”. I was very tired so I preferred to go to Vrindavan which later turned out an intelligent decision. It was drizzling. So I felt being welcomed in a warm manner after 220 km drive. In the way, I was stunned by the beauty of a temple named, “AkshyaPatra Krishna temple”. So I stopped and visited it.
While moving ahead I met Vivek Agarwal, who was a school guy. I gave him lift till the town. He helped me out in finding a cheaper lodging place. I stayed at Nutan Guest house at Vidyapeeth circle. This place was near to most of the temples. I asked somebody about the popular temples. There were couple of temples like “Bihariji”, “Rang ji”, ”Govindji”, “Radha-Damodar”, “Nidhivan”, “Taide kambhe ka Mandir”, “Radha-Vallabh ji”, “Sneh bihari ji”, etc.

Neo age Krishna
Vrindavan is untidy like other Indian holy places. It seems all souls from the world arrive here to shed off their sins. The narrow streets were full of people. What surprised me that here people say “Radhe-Radhe” and Radhaji[girlfriend of lord krishna ] has equal respect to Krishna. Besides all the time one can hear the sound of “Dholak and Manjire”[Classical Indian musical instruments] in background. On both sides there was local market. In front of me 2 kids aged around 12- 15 years were passing some comments to few girls doing some shopping in the local market. One of them had a bet with other guy that he will yell,”hello darling“, and the other will give him 5 bucks. It was an entertainment. They were flirting at the age of innocence.

Truth Seeker
“Bihariji Temple” is in the middle of the town. People offer lotus/rose garlands and sweets to the big boss. I too followed the same rule. When I reached the Aangan[an opened hall], it was populous. The building was old and made up of red stone. There are many tales related to the “Biharji”. Here I found that the idol is not exposed to the devotees for more than 5 minutes at a stretch. It is said that if one gazes it for longer period, then “Bihariji “would come with the devotee.
When I was tying laces of my shoes, I listened an interesting conversation. A 10 year old kid asked his grandpa,“Baba, you told me that if one gazes the idol for 20 minutes, it goes mad.”
Grandpa replied, “Off course, it is true.”
After a period, the kid replied, ”But I am still normal, I gazed it for more than 20 minutes.” Whole family burst into laughter.
I realized that children are more close to the truth and have courage to explore it rather than accepting it as it is like most of us.

The Base Vocalists
Then I moved to “Radha-Vallabh ji’s temple”. The idol here was quite real. The expressions were if he is ready to open his eyes, the very next moment. Here I was revealed to the fact why India’s most of population is starving after seeing the tummies of priests. One of them, was chewing some pan-masala. I did lose the respect for them.
I think this is the reason why god keeps on saying, ”You worship me and I will free you from pains.” So I suggest to all poor of this nation try to find out some position of priest at any religious spot and u will never starve.
While exiting the temple, I found the beggars outside, asking for money, ”Radhe- Radhe”. They had such a base in their voice that even Morrison, Hatfield, Cobain, and others would have felt inferiority complex. So finally I found the raw vocal talent pool of India.

Yeh Anna kahan hai?
I was too tired, so I decided to see finally “Rangji ka Mandir” only. It was somewhat far from the “Bihariji’s Mandir”. The streets were narrow but you would have enjoyed the walks in such streets. I asked shopkeepers, rickshaw-walla and passersby, “where is Rangji ?”Each time it reminded me of any Bollywood [Indian film industry] hero asking for the underworld don Anna. Finally when I reached at the main entrance, the guard told me, ”It is closed.” I was disappointed, ”So Anna doesn’t want to see me.” But nothing could be done, finally boss is boss. Then someone suggested me to visit “Taide kambhe ka Mandir”.

Demon is still alive
“Taide kambhe ka Mandir” is also known as “Shahji ka Mandir”.The Architecture was more similar to the catholic church. The kind of sculpture was amazing. From priest, I came to know that it was built around 160 years ago by some merchant of Lakhnow named “Shah Biharilal”. He got it constructed when his wish for son from Bihariji was fulfilled. He got 2 sons, “Kundanlaal” and “Fundanlaan”. Names were really coooooool.
On its wall, I found nude pictures of Gopis[the girls of village gokul].I found them some provocative. Though I have respect for all gods in every religion but still I won’t deny that those pieces of art were accentuating and titillating.In fact I have found according to my experience that older civilizations were more casual about sex while here we believe in making everything a taboo.

Main bhi Maakhan khayo
In Vrindavan, you will find the best quality of milk products. I had “khurchan rabri” and the lassi 2 or 3 times. Most of the people here possess cattle. Finally after having dinner, I returned to guest house for a sound sleep (even after the presence of mosquitoes).


Morning Raga
In morning Vivek(the school guy) joined me. In the morning, I visited “Nidhi-van” and “seva-kunj”.
They are gardens where Krishna do raas[romance] with gopis at late night hours. Nobody is allowed to stay here in the night. So as usual censorship is done here also. But I found the place somewhat thorny not horny at all. But god can make even hell the heaven so may be this place would be good for raas. I joined the devotees for the morning-prayer which was quite soothing and inspiring.


The holy water


Then I left for the Yamuna(the holy river of India) with vivek. Here I saw the Kadamb-tree where Krishna stole the clothes of gopis. Many people believe that Krishna did this act just for fun, but the truth is that he wanted to teach a lesson to the gopis. He did not want the gopis to bath in river without any piece of clothing because water is a male according to the Hindu mythology.
I enjoyed a ride in the boat. If one visits Vrindavan, it should visit Yamuna river in morning. It was really a beauty worth watching.
I came to see the KeshiGhaat where Krishna killed a demon named,”Keshi” who was the brother of his uncle “Kans”.


Will be back
Some other temples which I could not see were “Sneh Bihari ji”, “Iskon” and “Rangji”.
It was a sunny day, so I decided to move to delhi. After having “poori sabzi” as breakfast, I left the guest house. Though I did not want to leave Vrindavan incomplete, but one has always to move on. I was feeling somewhat connected to the Vrindavan corridors and its streets.I would say that if you visit this place, either you would not like it because of its untidiness or you will fall in love with it. People here say that Krishna here resides in every molecule. I felt blessed feeling his presence in every breath, in every scene and in every face.
Hope to see Vrindavan again.
Shabba khair and happy Krishna Janmashtami.
So here is metallica for You
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Sunday, May 06, 2007

Green Inside Me


Today after reading the R.K Pachauri's statement in TOI over UN Climate Changes Report, I looked at my “Chhotu”, my roommate in the corner.
”Chhotu” has been with me for last one year.
I think it knew what i had to say, but i did not.
Sometimes when you need something from someone, you just be quite and ask it by your glance only J. He knows that I wanted something from it.
He knows that i am an incorrigible selfish as all humans.
Whenever I see it,touch it, its green shade rejuvenates me, tells me that life is beautiful.
Chhotu is my small bamboo plant.

But today I was feeling guilty.

Since my childhood I have taken so much from Mother Nature, but i hardly had thought of returning anything to it. I have huge debts to pay.
I am feeling under pressure.

Will I have to pay it by sacrificing my life, that too by getting suffocated in the dust and smoke particles?

Or by getting drowned in the floods in 2030 as I don’t know swimming too?

I get a feel of trauma when I imagine such situation.

If not then what should I do?

Since morning I have thought about it twenty times.
Many many memories are related to Mother Nature.
I still remember the days when I used to play on the green grass in my school days.
The long siesta under “Gulmohar” in my “aangan” in childhood.
Last time when spent time with my friends at "Husn-sagar" pumping station in the middle of Thar desert” in Bikaner(my native place), keeping legs under water for hours.

When I had bath in river or when we played volley-ball on Goa beeches.

When enjoyed the rides on the curves of mountain roads on my “Renukaji” and “Vaishno Devi” trips.

When I enjoyed trekking in the dense forests of “kaiga”.

Similarly a lot of them are there in the album, very precious moments to me.
Whenever i see the pictures in my album, it still leaves smile on my face; that is the impact of Nature on me.

I think there is some Green in me too.
I have gained it from Mother Nature, when i walked bared foot on her chest.

I gained it when I saw its beauty from naked eyes.
I gained it when I listened the chirping of birds.

I gained it when I smelled the wet soil.

Being an urban legend like all of you,when i spend most of my time in front of a stupid box, i realize that I have spent very little time with Nature but whenever I remember it; I think I belong to it somewhere, somehow. I am not sure why I do feel so, but I do.

In morning when I was deep in my memories and thoughts; I heard the sound
of drops of rain and the aroma of wet soil again left me in debt.
I looked out in balcony.
It was drizzling.


No, No!!!

I think I still have time to save it.
No!
I will do it. I can do it.
I spend so much time and money to feel life easy but what if there is no life.
I will save my life and I am ready to do some of the little sacrifices.
I will hop on cycle rickshaws for shorter distances.
Though I love my bike but it doesn't that mean that I will spoil the beauty of my surroundings.
I think we all have some Green inside all of us, don't how it entered but its there in you too.

Let us extract it out and spread it again on this beautiful planet.


please check the following tips too.I know you have to do important mails on outlooks/lotus notes.Then a large amout of datastreaming of mp3 files.
It will hardly take 5 minutes of your busy schedule.

Tips for reducing global warming.

finally for all of you here is an award for bearing me. :)

Michael Jackson - ...